Tips For Settling Financial Disputes With Your Spouse

Few things are as stressful as financial concerns, yet arguments between spouses tend to be related to money more often than not. There are several ways to improve your situation and to be proactive about one of the top causes for divorce. Here is our list of tips for settling financial disputes with your spouse.

1. Settle On A Budget You Both Agree On

- Before money disagreements surface set yourselves up for success. Sit down together and come up with a reasonable budget that you can both agree on. It can be a touchy subject, but it's important to be open and honest. Assess what's coming in and list the expenses you both face. If you expect your spouse to give something up, you should too. Find a way to come to an agreement and don't be afraid to compromise.

2. Agree On Your Financial Goals

- Are you planning on saving up for a down payment on a home? Maybe you're looking to have enough for retirement or improve your credit score. If you share your life and finances with someone, then it's important to have the same goals. Agreeing on these goals ahead of time will give you something to measure your spending against and allow for you both to work together. It's an objective that will settle your expense-related disputes.

3. Prioritize Expenses That Are Important To Your Spouse

- Just because something isn't important to you, doesn't mean you should dismiss them. You are half of a team that needs to pull in the same direction. If something matters to your spouse, it's going to have to matter to you.

4. Listen To Your Spouse

- Take time to listen and truly hear what your spouse is saying. Be patient and refrain from talking over them to get your point across. Sit back and try to absorb what your partner is saying before respectfully responding. If you can do a good job at listening and understanding your spouse's point of view, then they will be more likely to treat you the same way. You won't be able to get anywhere if neither of you understands the other's position.

5. Agree On Big Purchase Decisions

- Yes, this means that you're going to have to refrain from buying certain things you want. Make sure you both agree before deciding to make any major financial decisions, this way you can avoid any potential sources for arguments. it's not worth risking your relationship or your happiness over a purchase. You have to give a little to get a little, so be flexible and understanding with your spouse.

6. Admit Your Own Faults

- We all have our faults and shortcomings when it comes to spending. None of us are perfect, and if you're annoyed by something your spouse does with the money, make sure you're honest with your own bad spending habits before there is any confrontation. Instead of a 'holier-than-thou' position, approach it from the standpoint of 'How can we do better?'

7. Share Everything And Hide Nothing

- Don't ever hide money or expenses from your spouse. Let them see your credit card statements and vice versa. This extra level of accountability will ensure that you build and maintain trust while working together towards your goals.

8. Rules Of Thumb

- Employ rules of thumb that work for you. For example, you could insist on always waiting a week before making a big purchase, or maybe that you always sell two items before buying something new. Whatever your 'rule of thumb' is, make sure you both agree and that you stick to it.

9. Write It Down

-If you struggle to communicate with your spouse about money, try writing it down. As a last resort, you can try sending an email to your spouse. Always make sure to restrict yourself to the subject at hand, and refrain from dredging up any past disputes and making any assumptions or accusations. Be calm and kind in your message and they will be more likely to return the favor.

What are some of the ways you and your spouse have settled financial disputes? Let us know in the comments!